How To Stop Quarrels

Bill Fitzhenry's Thoughts For Today…

How To Stop Quarrels

Proverbs 17:14 NKJV

¹⁴ The beginning of strife is like releasing water;
Therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts.

The continually sensibleness of the writer is striking. As the Proverbs are read it becomes evident how seldom the problems of daily life are considered in their light. They more often than not have a sensible answer. The simple answer for quarrels in this verse is to stop them before they start.

There is an analysis of quarrels here that will help to understand the simple answer.

1. Strife has a beginning. It does not jump out of the space around us. Strife can be pointed out in its beginning.

2. Contention or confrontational disagreements are the beginning, or the way strife makes its entry.

3. Water is much more easily kept in the bottle than caught and put back once it is released. Fact is, it is most often impossible to pick it up from where it lies. The impossibility of putting it back makes it all the more necessary to see it is never poured out.

4. Quarrels begin just like the water is released. Something has to happen. As long as the water is in the bottle the difficulty is manageable.

The answer lies in how serious each person is about the content of their speech. There must be a meeting place between having to watch every word spoken, and a habit of such careless speech that everyone within hearing has to be constantly excusing the boorishness of the speaker.

There is a speaking rule and a hearing rule.

1. Do not say anything that is destructive of the character, reputation, or the personal feelings of those to whom you are speaking.

2. Do no take offense at what you hear others say. Be slow to take offense and quick to forgive.

There is a third rule.

3. Those who offend so easily there are like a red wasp and those who are so callous and indifferent that they wound the Saints, stay away from them. Either of them is best left to be their own company.